Is It An Inconvenience Or A Problem?

“If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you’ve got a problem.  Everything else is inconvenience.”  Robert Fulghum

“Samson!  Riley!”  I call them from their morning constitution outside in the backyard.   Usually these two dogs immediately come running looking for their breakfast.  But this morning no dogs come running to the patio door.  I open the front door and call their names:  no dogs.  My grandson immediately opens the closet door and says, “Grandma’s Boots”.  Yesterday when the plumber came  I  had kept both of the dogs in the garage and when I went to get them they weren’t inside but they had left a large green garbage bag strewn with its contents on the garage floor.  Jackson saw me pull on my boots to call them – they were just along the side of the house and of course I needed to clean up the mess.  Anyways, he has assumed I need them again but I am reluctant to go outside since I have my two- year old grandson with me.  Reluctantly, I did put on my boots, stood outside on the sidewalk and shouted their names.  In the meantime, Jackson opens the door and stands on the front step calling, “Grandma”!  Does this sound like an adult who has everything under control?  I called my daughter who was at work and she said that she would come and drive around our area trying to find them.  However, just as she said that, who comes charging across the street but my little dog Riley?  This actually unsettled me even more since Riley follows Samson everywhere, and I am worried that something has happened to my kids’ Australian Shepherd Cross.

Rather than wait for my daughter, I decided I didn’t want to lose any more time and I would just have to put Jackson’s coat and boots on and we would make a quick drive around the area.  I had just gotten him inside the car and strapped into his car seat when I hear Riley barking.  I quickly opened the garage door suspecting Samson’s return.  Sure enough the lost was now found.  I called Kristen who was already just about at my place, she returned to work, I got Jackson back in the house, and I made Samson sit in the garage until I got our coats off.  Then I got a cloth to wipe down Samson’s muddy feet – which came more from being in the garage than from being outside!!  Of course, they immediately wanted to go outside again but I can’t’t let them since I learned through this episode that our gate is broken!

To continue with this morning’s mishaps,  I thought I should put some food in a crockpot since I knew from all of my symptoms that this would be the strongest part of my day – which wasn’t too encouraging!  As I washed some of the dishes, I realized that I had no hot water.  I guess this problem started after the plumber came to replace our old dishwasher.   My observation skills were apparently at a bare minimum when I used the water last night since I was merely “going through the motions” as I coped with a migraine and some other complaints.

These past two weeks when my grandson comes to visit, he looks at me rather oddly when I tell him I have to go to the garage when I am looking for some food item.  Yes, two weeks ago the compressor on our fridge died and the service man advised us to purchase a new fridge.  My husband quickly did some research and ordered a fridge but we have had to wait for its delivery!  I have a small beverage fridge in the basement, so I get my exercise trying to remember if I have a certain ingredient in this basement fridge or out in the garage.  This morning I brought in some fresh carrots from the garage to put in the crock -pot to discover that they had become frozen carrots.

All of these things I have described are just small inconveniences,.  They just require a little more expenditure of energy and they frustrate me since I don’t have any extra reserves of energy to use.  However, as I sit here watching Finding Nemo with my beautiful grandson and me wrapped together in a blanket and he looks up at me making comments about the movie, even though I sit here with symptoms I wish would disappear, I am content.  And as I sit here snuggled beside Jackson, I think about how most of us are inclined to complain when minor inconveniences occur – mainly because we forget that is what they are: they are not serious problems, just inconveniences.  Just like Robert Fulghum says, “ If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you’ve got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.”

PAINT ME A LOVELY SHADE OF PINK

” . . .books written for children can provide comfort and a fresh perspective and can recharge your imagination.”  Jennifer Louden

I grew up in a small house that was built solidly and by hands who sawed each piece of wood with a hand saw  and who hammered the 2 by 4’s together using an old fashioned  hammer   -  no electric saw and no electric nail guns.  It was built in 1949.  When my Mom and Dad had hammered the available wood together, they walked through the valley, across the bridge and walked up the 150 steps to buy more wood.  Then they carried it back down those stairs, walked slowly across the bridge and continued building their small house.  Finally, they could move out of my Dad’s sister’s home and move their one- year old daughter into this house.  Almost five years later the family grew to include me, another daughter.

My sister and I eventually moved away to our own homes but Dad lived there until he passed away in 1979 and Mom stayed there until 1982 when we convinced her to live closer to her two girls.  During those decades, this little house witnessed many changes in the neighborhood until now it sits rather out of place and alone as most of the other homes have been replaced by new condominiums. The traffic has increased substantially as vehicles drive by this little house to get onto the Freeway.  And this house is not as loved and not as cared for and looks rather shabby, and yet as the author in The Little House says, “ she was just as good a house as ever underneath.”

I think  memories of our family home  caused the tears to stream down my face as I read Virginia Lee Burton’s children’s picture book called The Little House.  Or it may have been because I saw myself in this little house!  This book is  the first of many I intend to read from  the long list of   Caldecott Picture Book Award Winning books!  I have often thought it would be an interesting journey to read all of them and it was confirmed when I read that reading “books written for children can provide comfort and a fresh perspective and can recharge your imagination.”  This seemed like an opportune time to begin this goal since when I have setbacks in my health, I often have difficulty focusing and concentrating on too many written words!

Anyways, The Little House won its award in 1942 near the time when my parents built their house.  The story begins with the house being built with the owner’s intention of making it last many generations.  It was built in the country surrounded by trees, animals and open sky.  Gradually, the city began expanding and came closer and closer to this house until finally other houses, apartments and stores surrounded this little house.  These changes became completely oppressive when a train was built above the house and a subway underneath.  “The Little House was very sad and lonely.  Her paint was cracked and dirty. Her windows were broken and her shutters hung crookedly.”  Finally, the house is rescued when the great-great-grand-daughter of the man who built this house recognized it and had it moved back into the country.

Besides eliciting some nostalgia over the little house I once lived in, this story is an apt illustration of our powerlessness over some changes.  These changes may come in the form of becoming widowed, losing our job, having a miscarriage, or in my case being chronically ill over twelve years.  We are taught to be pro-active and to create positive changes, and then suddenly we experience circumstances that we cannot control.

On a symbolic level, I am like that house – once new, youthful, and strong now I often feel like a huge cloud is hovering over me due to the changes in my body, changes in my routines, changes in how I can relate to people, changes that involve too much of seeing doctors, taking tests, and swallowing pills.   Like the Little House surrounded by pollution, apartment buildings, trains and subways, my body often feels “cracked and dirty” and “shabby”.

This house had no control over any of its changes but miraculously it was rescued by the great-great-grand-daughter of the person who built the house!  Most of us in these tough situations long also to be rescued. Once the house is rescued, its  “windows and shutters were fixed and once again they painted her a lovely shade of pink.”   Isn’t that what every person in a powerless situation desires?  We want to be fixed and to have every part of our body refreshed and rejuvenated. This house resumed watching the sun and moon and stars and experienced again the changing of the seasons.  I   also want to resume some of the things I used to do effortlessly.

However, as I read the last sentence of the book, I also knew that the similarity between the little house and me ended since this house desperately needed someone to take care of it. “Once again she was lived in and taken care of.”  Throughout all of these years, as much as I dislike many of the changes imposed upon me, I have been royally taken care of by a man who makes me feel like I am still “ a lovely shade of pink”!

An Oxymoron: MSG In Organic Broth!

Yesterday when I saw the doctor, he had me go through all of the food that I eat during the day to determine if there are any triggers causing some of my symptoms.  In that conversation, I mentioned I make a lot of home made soups.  He asked me what I use for broth.  I said I occasionally make my own broth but often I use purchased organic broths.  He immediately told me he hasn’t found one that doesn’t have MSG in it.

When I went home, I looked more closely at the ingredients and discovered that the Western Family Organic Vegetable Broth contains yeast extract that  is another name for MSG.    I e-mailed them and received the following letter:

Thank you for your email regarding MSG or yeast extract in our Western

Family Organic Vegetable Broth.  I have forwarded your comments and

suggestion to our Product Management department for their reference and

review.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to email.  Feedback from

valued customers such as you helps us to improve our operations.

Sincerely,

Wendy H, Customer Service

I will be interested to see if I receive any further feedback from the Product Management Department.

However, the one I was mostly concerned about was the Organic Chicken Broth that I buy from Costco .  The only ingredient that seemed to be a concern was  “organic chicken flavor”.  Can you really have an organic MSG?  Anyways, today I received their response and I am greatly encouraged:

Dear Gayle,

Thank you for taking the time to email Pacific Natural Foods.  We are delighted to hear how much you

enjoy our Organic Chicken Broth.  The Natural Flavors we use consist of natural plant extracts

and are free of MSG, free glutamates and all of the big 8 allergens, as well as nightshades and celery.

These ingredients are of utmost quality and have been rigorously scrutinized by our Certified To The Source

Program.

Pacific Natural Foods’ Certified To The Source is a program in which we identify the exact origins of the

ingredients for our products.  This ensures that you are receiving a food or beverage that is of highest quality

and nutritional value.  Nothing in our products is included without certification.  All of our ingredients meet the

requirements put forth by Oregon Tilth.

We appreciate your continued support of our products.  If you have any other questions please feel free to

contact us again.

Sincerely,

Cyndee Olsen

Consumer Services Coordinator

Pacific Foods of Oregon

Ph. (503) 692-9666

Unfortunately, I didn’t check my e-mails before I left to see my Doctor.  (Yes, again today)   I would like to show him this letter.  He is always very suspicious by company’s responses, but I feel fairly confident in this company’s response.  Or I am in serious denial since I like the convenience of opening up a tetra-pak of broth rather than first making the broth before I can even start making soup!

If you are concerned about eating foods with MSG, I have included a list of words that indicate its presence:

Glutamate

Monosodium glutamate

Monopotassium glutamate

yeast extract

Hydrolyzed protein

Glutamic Acid

Calcium Caseinate

Sodium Caseinate

Yeast Food

Hydrolyzed corn gluten

Gelatin

Textured Protecin

Yeast Nutrient

Autolyzed yeast

Natrium glutamate

The following ingredient often contain MSG or create MSG during processing:

Carrageenan

Natural Pork Flavoring

Bouillon & Broth

Stock

Whey protein Concentrate

Whey Protein

Whey Protein isolate

Flavors & Flavoring

Natural Flavors

Maltodextrin

Citric Acid

Natural Chicken Flavoring

Ultra-pasteurized

Barley malt

Pectin

Protease

Malt extract

Malt Flavoring

Soy protein isolate

Soy sauce

Soy protein

Aything protein fortified

Seasonings

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

These past three weeks I have been seeing my doctor twice each week while he has been assessing my worsening condition.  Each month my body takes a further beating as I am on this detoxifying treatment to get rid of mercury.  This month the respiratory symptoms became so erratic that I needed to use oxygen throughout the day and evening.  Any slight movements or attempts to talk increased the hyperventilating.  My fatigue levels were indescribable.

However, my doctor has given us some encouraging information.  It is common for people to have more severe reactions during detoxification when their bodies are becoming stronger and healthier!!  It means that more mercury is probably being carried out of my body and more effectively!  The downside is that I cannot tolerate all of the accompanying symptoms!  Therefore, he has advised doing the treatment only once a week rather than every other week for three days.  He says that this method will slow down the detoxifying process but that it will be easier on my body.  I remember when I first got started on these treatments I had foolishly told my doctor that I would be happy to detoxify all of the chemicals at the same time and that I would be prepared to go to bed for a few months to get it all done quickly!  He wisely said that we have to approach this a little more slowly.  I hate to think how incredibly ill I would have been if I hadn’t had a doctor who knew that would have been very dangerous!  Apparently, you can have too much of a good thing!

We also had encouraging results this morning when he told us the Heavy Metal Challenge Test indicated that my mercury levels are dropping.  This treatment is also supposed to help pull out lead which is “off the chart” elevated the way mercury used to be.  He believes that now that the mercury levels are beginning to drop, the treatment will more effectively help lower the amount of lead.  Also, he believes that some of my symptoms may lessen now that I don’t have to see the dentist on a monthly basis to have amalgam fillings removed.  Even though everything is done to prevent my inhaling or even swallowing any amalgam, the process is not foolproof.  Also, I may start feeling better just by having all of the amalgam fillings removed.

Greg came home from the doctor much more hopeful than me and I think he was frustrated by my tears.  I am just very tired of being tired, tired of this illness taking up so much of our attention, tired of the restrictions, tired of trying one more thing.  Thank God I have a husband who reminds me of what we have and how far we have come during the times when I need to be buoyed up by someone else’s hope and confidence.  That will never be “too much of a good thing”!

A DISAPPOINTING START TO 2010

Have you ever looked forward to a New Year because you could hardly wait for the current year to end?  I know some people don’t even look forward to the New Year because they don’t believe anything will really change for them.  Well, I am genetically  optimistic and in December I began dreaming of all the possibilities when I become well.    That is why I was determined to be awake at midnight and usher in 2010.  Greg and I had an enjoyable evening with my sister and brother-in-law who came over for an early dinner and we later played a board game.  I don’t last very long into the evening so they left by 10:30 – however, not before we hugged each other and wished each other Happy New Year.  We just pretended we were living in another time -zone!  Greg and I lay together in bed chatting and dreaming how 2010 could be the start of a new journey as I become progressively healthier.  At midnight we held each other and kissed each other and we were filled with hope.

Sadly, January has proved to be a real test as each week I have slipped further and further backwards.  We attribute much of the setback due to the detoxifying medications I take for three days every two weeks.  Just before Christmas I quit this treatment in the hope that I could participate with the family and better enjoy the season.  By the first of January, I was on the treatment again.  As I have mentioned before, each month my reaction has worsened during this treatment and I may get one or two day’s reprieve before starting it again.  My reaction has been incredibly intense these past two weeks and I have needed oxygen to help my erratic breathing.  After seeing the doctor quite a few times these past two weeks, he recommended that I begin taking these pills one day a week .  It will slow the detoxifying process down but my body can’t tolerate these violent upheavals.  The positive is that he believes my reaction is worsening since as my body gets healthier, my body can detoxify at a faster rate.

We are also hoping that my chemical sensitivities may also lessen and perhaps I can experience some stability and make some steady progress.   Always hoping and dreaming and planning . . .. Yes, January has been a disappointing start to 2010, but with a new strategy, maybe I have just experienced the worst month and maybe now I am heading toward the best month in 2010!

CELEBRATE! IT IS FINISHED!

“Celebrate!  Celebrate!  Celebrate!  Dance to the music” .  Perhaps some of you might be able to hum along to the chorus of this  old song by Three Dog Night.  Today I am celebrating since I  had my last amalgam filling removed and replaced by a fancy high tech ceramic filling!

Yesterday, I talked about my reluctance to ask for help even from my doctor.  But today as I sat in the dentist’s chair, I knew that without a doubt I had been receiving help these past months so that I can actually say I no longer have my neurotic fear of having dental work done!  All of the past experiences as a child sitting in the dental chair are over!  Part of that change belongs to my dentist who calls himself an old hippy!  I learned to relax as he chatted, laughed and as we listened to old 60’s and 70’s music interspersed with the occasional Norah Jones. But I have had pleasant dentists before, and so I know that my change mainly belongs to God who heard my prayers and heard others praying for me that since I needed to see this dentist every month for a year, could He please “help me overcome my anxieties”.  Yesterday my special friend who keeps lifting me up to God sent me some very appropriate Bible verses in response to yesterday’s blog.  I think she wanted me to remember as my husband did who read it this morning – that even when we are reluctant to receive help from others and even when we receive imperfect help from others, we can receive perfect help from God.  She wrote,

“Your ‘cry for help’ was heard. I immediately recalled that help is always available but not necessarily immediately visible. Psalm 18:6: “In my distress, I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help” and in Psalm 121:1 : “I lift up my eyes to the hills–where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth”. Verse 8 says ‘the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”  It does not say He will remove your affliction but will ‘BE THERE’ for you. I agree that sometimes it does not feel like it is enough but like the mother who holds her child with the scraped knee, she cannot make it better but she can ‘be there’ to help him get through the pain.   Hopefully, this is what can keep you going as well. Hang in there…you are not alone.”

Well, today I am not only celebrating the fact that my dental work is complete but  that I believe “My help comes from the Lord”!   Now I just have to remember that “the Lord will watch over (my)  coming and going” when His Help doesn’t seem quite as clear!!

HELP! A WORTHWHILE FOUR LETTER WORD

One of the first words that my daughter-in-law taught her son was “Help”.  My grandson is quite a “tough” little boy and doesn’t surrender quickly to tears.  However, that one word has minimized even further tears, panic, and whining. This one word is effective because he can trust the adults in the room to immediately respond to his dilemma.  He knows that one of them will “rescue” him!

That is quite different for the little children who occasionally are helped and other times are ignored.  These children must resort to tears and whining to ensure a response.    Even more sadly, we have all heard stories particularly of babies in orphanages where babies quit crying since they have learned that their needs would not be met.

Where am I going with this discussion on children receiving or not receiving help?

I believe that as adults some of us have lost our ability to say, “Help.”  Is it because we have heard others cast judgment on those people who almost too readily ask for help? “They have the resources to help themselves.”  “They just need to make some adjustments.”    “Their situation doesn’t even merit their asking for that kind of help.”  We see those crying for help like those children who are whining and complaining.

Most of us want to at least appear independent and self-sufficient.  Perhaps, we have all watched too many westerns or super hero movies and we want to be that cowboy in the white Stetson hat who does the rescuing or we want to be Super Man who heroically saves that person in danger.  We don’t want to be the victim who needs to be helped.

Or is it even more than our need to manage our affairs perfectly by ourselves?  Are we like those neglected babies in those horrific orphanages where we have begun doubting that we will receive help?  My husband often has to plead with me to make another appointment to see my doctor.  I will often let symptoms continue for a long time before I agree to make that call.   Why do I resist?

I think it is a subconscious belief that going to the doctor is a waste of time.  Apparently, I am not that confident of my doctor’s ability to help me!  I actually have a really caring, compassionate doctor who listens to what I am saying and does his best to assess what is the best strategy.  So why have I waited two months to see him regarding some new symptoms that have surfaced?

I think the problem is that I have seen so many doctors these past twelve years and I have tried so many different treatments that I have lost my confidence in getting an immediate and satisfying response to my cry for help.  However, if I really am trying to optimize my healing environment I must change my attitude and shout  “Help” and assume that I will be rescued!

UNFILTERED THOUGHTS HINDER HEALING

Last night I was watching an episode from the Television series, House.  In the story, the male patient’s frontal lobe was not working so that he could not filter any of his thoughts and he said everything that came to his mind.  He made rather shocking, hurtful and insulting comments to everyone  including his wife and his daughter.  By the end of the story, House had of course discovered the nature of the problem.  However, as his wife was wheeling him to the car, he asked her if his daughter was upset with him.  She said, “No, children are pretty resilient.”  However, there was a serious inference understood by her body language that she would have great difficulty trusting his comments since she now “knew” what he was really thinking.

I began wondering what kind of words would come out of my mouth if they were not being filtered by what I perceive to be acceptable or kind or reflect whatever persona I have developed. As someone who has had a lot of limits imposed on her life for the last decade, would I be surprised by the amount of whining, complaining, and judging negative comments that might slip out of my mouth?  Like the patient in House, would I later be mortified and embarrassed?

I once read that the brain is like a computer.  It inputs information and does not distinguish thoughts or opinions from facts.  In other words, thoughts that I may not even believe all of the time are being added to my brain’s data bank as factual. One day, in a whining mood, I may think , “My doctor doesn’t know what he is doing! I am an idiot to actually believe that he can cure me!”  My brain’s distorted perception of truth has now recorded that my doctor is an idiot and that I too am an idiot!  This kind of data is most definitely not going to promote my wellness!!

As another component to optimizing my healing environment I should heighten my awareness of all of my thoughts!   I have heard the suggestion to wear an elastic band and pull it every time a negative thought occurs.  However, I suspect the most insidious thought is the one that appears rational and logical and I might  excuse it since it “speaks a truth” .   Those thoughts might be harder to identify as negative and might cause me to resist pulling that elastic band!  And the real question is whether  that kind of temporary pain will actually cause me to improve my thoughts?

Perhaps guarding our thoughts is like the analogy of identifying counterfeit money.  I once heard that people who are trained to identify counterfeit money are not shown those dollars.  Instead they just spend lots of time analyzing the real money!  In other words, perhaps the most effective strategy is to intentionally add positive thoughts to my brain’s data bank by speaking positive affirmations, reciting Bible verses, listening to positive uplifting music etc.  It could become quite an exciting game as I assess how much helpful healing information I have been able to file away in my brain’s amazing recording system each day!  I don’t consider myself as an overly negative person, but I suspect the cumulative effect of such a purposeful positive endeavor could only increase the healing momentum!

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy  – meditate on these things”

OFF COURSE BUT STILL SEEING THE GOAL

During these past twelve years, I have been given many different prescription drugs to help with my various symptoms.  Inevitably, I would have to stop taking them since adding side effects  to the already present symptoms were not tolerable! Once again, I think I am experiencing side effects from one of my prescriptions .   My thermal regulator is compromised and I am always warmer than anyone else in the room.  Throughout the day I will have spells where the heat  increases until I feel lightheaded and nauseous and extremely uncomfortable. The problem is that this prescription seems to be helping to some extent with the heat changes, but for some reason it is increasing my light- headedness and dizziness and weakness!  I have found over the years that often the side effects merely increase some of the symptoms I am already experiencing which makes it difficult to know whether it is a side effect!  I am hoping I can tolerate taking a lower dosage of this pill since it was helping to some extent moderate the heat that was  waking  me continually throughout the night.

It is difficult not to become discouraged when my progress is once again hindered by these frustrating but predictable occurrences.  However, recently I saw a great visual demonstration that keeps me optimistic.   I was watching a DVD from Jack Canfield’s program, “Break Throughs To Success”.  He had a person stand twenty feet in front of him saying, “You’re On Course” when Jack walked straight ahead.  When Jack began to take a side step or began walking in circles, the person would say, “Off Course.”  This process would continue until Jack stood directly in front of him.  In other words, no matter how many times Jack got off course, as long as he got back on course,  he still reached his destination!  This demonstration was to impress his viewers of the importance of receiving feedback from others when you are attempting to reach a goal.   For me, what resonated fully was that  no matter how many side steps or setbacks I experience that arise from being chronically ill, I can still attain my goal of becoming healthier.  It may just take a little longer!  Today, I feel like I am a little “off course”, but perhaps after I see my doctor on Friday, I will be given some new ideas on how to get back “on course” and actually stay “on course” for awhile!

WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF POTS, USE THE MICROWAVE

Last night my daughter called while I was soaking in the bathtub as I was trying to offset a chemical sensitivity reaction when I was at the hair salon that morning.  The hairstylist apologized as she began coloring my hair commenting that sometimes the tubes of color have stronger smells!  Yes indeed!!  Anyways, during our conversation, my daughter mentioned that she had just used the last clean pot and they were all stacked on top of her kitchen counter. Then later in the conversation, she said that she was going to the gym to run on the treadmill.  I commented, “Maybe you should stay home and do your dishes!”   Since that was really none of my business what she chose to do, I appreciated her not getting angry with me!!

However, I haven’t talked to her today but I can only hope that she did go for that run.  Sometimes motherly advice is really not all that wise!  I have spent most of my life doing the “ought’s” and the “have to’s” and keeping things uncluttered and organized.  I always assumed that getting those things completed were making the best use of my time.  I don’t believe that anymore but it is difficult to release  old habits. My daughter has some health issues that are helped with exercise; therefore if she had to choose what to do with that hour, which was the best activity?  Also, one of her 2010 goals is to run the half marathon in February.  Again, wouldn’t it be better to run than to wash those pots since running regularly will  help her reach that goal?

I had a really difficult night coping with that chemical sensitivity reaction, and was particularly frustrated since I had planned to do a lot of those “ought’s” and “have tos” today.  Instead, I thought of my conversation with my daughter and asked, “What is the best thing I could do today to promote my health?”  I often talk about my need to exercise but I knew that was not a wise option today. Paying bills and sorting papers were “my pots to clean” and they were options not helpful to my present situation.    Rather, I gave myself permission to rest all morning in bed!  And now that I have had lunch, and completed this posting, I will rest some more since I know that is the only thing I can do to have a better day tomorrow.

Next time my daughter tells me that she has used all of her pots, I hope I will just remind her that she still has the microwave so go do what you need to do to nurture health and to create more memories by working toward  one more goal!